but honestly, won't someone stop this train?

I do not have any childrens,  yet. And having been married for 3.5 years I get THE QUESTION a lot. It's important that it's in all caps because it *hopefully* paints you a little picture as to how my face looks when I actually say the words THE QUESTION. Or even think about being asked THE QUESTION.

For those of you who have a hard time imagining...here are some (extremely flattering) examples.

And if you're still clueless as to what THE QUESTION is? It has to do with my uterus and when one might inhabit it. 

Now I should clarify a few things...

• I am in no way of the feminist mindset that is immediately offended when asked THE QUESTION because one thinks that all I'm supposed to do with my life is make babies and food. 
• I have a strong desire to be a mother. One day. Just not any time soon. That is unless God has other plans. 

But you see, I have this problem. It's called BABIES EVERYWHERE. I've hit that stage of my life where friends are finishing up getting married and quickly moving on to the "baby in baby carriage" part. And that's fine. Because that means plenty of cute kids I get to play with, spoil and not be woken up by in the middle of the night. I like that part of the deal. 

But as I continue to inch towards that time in my life when I'm (hopefully) blessed with the ability to experience the joy that is motherhood, I can't help but get a little bit sad. Yes. I said sad. 

It means I've actually grown up. Or that I've actually got to grow up. 

And if I'm being completely honest, I really don't want to. I want life to freeze right now. Parents in all of their infinite wisdom and awesomeness just stay the same. Nieces in all of their young, adorable, naivety and innocence stay the same. Everything just stays the same because moving forward is actually quite terrifying. I've never been scared by birthdays until this year. There was something about turning 24 and getting closer to 25 that just sent my mind into nostalgia overdrive. I suddenly missed everything about my childhood and wanted nothing more than to lock myself in a room and cry.

My elementary school teachers. The smell of their classrooms. Playing with my dolls. Playing with my cousins and neighbors. Talking to my mom. Basically every interaction ever with my Mom. And my dad. Oh my gosh, how much I longed to just curl up into a ball of little girl and sit on my dad's lap.

And I think I've almost got myself convinced that if I just prolong the non-existence of my own children that I can break the cycle. That we will all just be fine until the good Lord decides to take us.

Does the idea of growing up mess anybody else up, too? I hope I'm not the only one. I'll leave you with one of my favorite songs of all time. Mr. Mayer captures every emotion I feel in his lyrics. What a freakin' genius.